During this holiday I have seen my family and gone to movies and out to dinner. I have admired the lights in my house and out on the streets. I have delivered baked goods and wrapped presents, tied ribbons around packages (and harvested the ribbon to hoard again at home). I have begun to make my plans for the new year, and I have hung up my clothes. This sounds ordinary but is actually momentous, as every time I hang up my clothes I reckon with the whole of my life.
I have eaten a lot of peanut brittle.
A friend recently wrote that she had waited 'till the last possible minute' to plan for her next semester's class. I thought, this can't be the last possible minute, what about next week? And resumed scrolling through Twitter with a piece of peanut brittle in hand and possible in my mouth. I am having just a little bit of a tricky time keeping track of the day of the week. The days feel a little slide-y.
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| my calendar is currently wide open. |
The solstice has come and gone. Supposedly, each day has a little bit more light in it. Supposedly. For me, as I imagine for many of you, it still feels pretty dark.
Well, I was out for the afternoon, and came back home. We'd planned to go to a movie, one of two movies that looked a little bit mainstream, a little bit heavy, possibly a little dark. I said to the historian, Honestly, both of these movies feel a little bit heavy and a little bit dark. I left out the part about a little bit mainstream, because I sometimes, even often, like a mainstream movie, especially during the last part of the year, and I don't want to cede the mainstream just yet.
The historian agreed. Probably, mentally, he added and a little bit mainstream to the list of reasons why we should just go out to dinner, then come home. Currently, he is watching the Jazz eke out a possible, improbably victory (I hope!), and then we will watch some more of the end of Veronica Mars, second season, for the zillionth time, because even though Veronica Mars is a little bit mainstream, a little bit heavy, a little bit dark, somehow it comforts me in these dark times.
However: in the new year, I plan to do the following things to jolt me out of my doom cocoon:
- read books, as opposed to the infinitely charactered, herky jerky narrative that is Twitter. I have a list.
- listen to new music every day.
This is a very small excerpt of my new year plan. Some things you just need to keep to yourself for awhile. Possibly, we will watch the mainstream/heavy/dark films we skipped this weekend, just not right now. Just like, I will probably go into my office and fetch items that will help me come up with a plan for my next semester's class. Just not right now. And maybe not tomorrow either. When does next week start, even?