Extra hours.

I know, that title (^) is entirely misleading, because (wait!) there is no such thing as extra hours. Hours are, like, the very definition of scarcity, the supply being insufficient to meet demand, not enough to go around, and so on. Except we don't have time for these synonym shenanigans! We're wasting the hours, the hours that there are not enough of!

Speaking of wasting hours: I can waste hours with the best of them. I can waste hours on the internet. I can waste hours not grading, for instance. I can waste hours looking at my list until it turns me to stone with its Medusa-like gaze. I can waste hours coming up with metaphors for my list and the semester and so on. But we don't have time for metaphors! We're wasting the hours!

I told the historian this morning that I needed five extra hours in the day, so I would have time to feel my feelings. I was still in bed, under the covers, but I felt gratified that he laughed, and I, in fact, laughed--at my own joke!--but seriously: seriously, if I had five extra hours every day? I would first of all cry for one of those hours. Sometimes you just need to. Would I cry every day? Maybe. Maybe I have a lot of crying to make up for, you know?

If I had four additional hours every day, after the crying, I would send copies of my book to all the people I've promised them to, and a few more, and I would write sweet notes in the book. Because I am sweet like that, and thoughtful, and diligent, especially when I have four extra hours every day, after the crying. I think this would take two hours, or maybe all four, but let's say two, because I have additional plans for those extra two hours.

If I had two extra hours every day, after the crying and the book-sending, I would hands down spend them sleeping. I would sleep two extra hours a day, easy. I could probably do this for a year and maybe by then I would come close to evening up my lifetime sleep deficit. What can I say? I never go to bed.

Okay, I need seven extra hours every day. Because I need two more hours for writing.

Obviously, no extra hours will happen. Hours happen to be on a very strict ration. So I'm just going to have to cry when I should be grading, or--wait!--cry while I'm grading. Write while I'm sleeping. Send my books out when I'm dead. Like that. You know, multi-task. I'm super good at it.