The answer is always 'the farmer's market.'

Me: Can anyone explain why there are no doughnuts in this house?

The historian: It must be because there weren't any at the farmer's market.

Indeed. Farmer's Market Overlords: please investigate the lack of doughnuts and get on it.

However, in its defense, the farmer's market had the following:

Also: turnips, scallions, lettuce, purple pepper, purple eggplant, oregano, basil.

And the good bagels, including salt bagels. Clearly not a doughnut, not that that needs any clarifications. But a bagel, which is a very good thing in itself.

(In the interests of transparency, baked goods division: it should be noted that I ate a croissant. Which was purchased at the farmer's market. Also not a doughnut.)