A: YES, but only if your requests are for (a) waffles, (b) my opinions about movies, (c) my opinions about politics, (d) my advice about shopping, (e) a compliment about your shirt, or to (f) borrow one of my books or some music or a quarter. If your request is for other things, please submit it in writing and my people will review it and get back to you in thirty (30) days or thirty (30) minutes.
Q: Are the facts on your blog actual facts?
A: All facts are, indeed, factual, which is to say, they are fact-flavored. Fact-flavoring on this blog is made of actual fact-concentrate. Facts on this blog are subject to a ten percent exaggeration bloom.
Q: What is a 'hightouchmegastore'?
A: It is a large ('mega') store ('place you buy things'), wherein the sensory load is set at a steady 125% level ('hightouch'). Basically, it's Target.
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| frequently asked questions. |
Q: What did you buy at Target today?
A: HA nothing none of your business nothing.
Q: Do you have a favorite noise?
A: Almost any noise that is not someone or something crying. Or, almost any noise, so long as it comes from a great distance.
Q: What is your favorite close-up noise?
A: Right now, crickets in the backyard, the rumble of the swamp cooler, the sound of the bed linens just lying there, waiting.
Q: Why don't you just go to bed?
A: Too easy. It's not midnight yet.
I would like your opinion about why they don't serve waffles at the movies. Discuss.
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