Ongoing conversation about faith, good works, clarity.

Losing my religion or not:

Me: ... I admire people who manage to stay but still engage. Like, if someone says something awful, they just speak to it, without rancor, because they're still brothers and sisters. But they engage.

Historian: ....

Me: I know, it's not what you'd do.

Historian: Well, it's not like there's just one way to respond.

Me: Right, exactly. And I know, it's not like people at church don't say stuff and do stuff that actually hurts people. They do. But still.

Historian: Right...?

Me: ...So what I'm saying is, if I'm still in, then what good am I doing out here on the sidelines? I could be engaging. [body language and hand wringing.]

Historian: ...

Me: I just wonder if I'm doing my part.

Historian: Oh, sweetheart.

Me: I know.  [dramatic change of subject:] Well, at least we're going to a movie.

Historian: ...I was going to say, nothing is ever easy for you, but some things are easy.

Me: Like movies.

Historian: ... like movies. I was going to make a list of things I'm completely clear about. Like riding my bike. I'm completely clear that I love riding my bike.

Me: Movies.

Historian: Right, for you, movies. And also poetry, you're clear about writing poetry.

Me: [to self: well, most of the time. Aloud:] Yes, definitely.  [...] But what else is on your list? That list of things you're completely clear about?

Historian: Oh, well, I haven't actually made the list. I was just thinking I was going to make it.

Me: [to self: dammit I need that list STAT! ...  Aloud:] Hey, I need that list!