I am not in any way endorsing this product.

At home after a long, long, long-ass day. I'm talking seriously long:

Me: The historian! C'mere, there's an ad with a bear and he's filing stuff.

The historian: (comes into the room) What now?

Me: (gesturing at the television) Look!

Me: See? It's a bear, and he's filing stuff for that guy.

The historian: (watches for a second. Laughs.)

Me: I want a bear who does my filing for me.

The historian: (laughs again)

(we both watch the bear execute his file clerk duties.)

The historian:. . . he's probably just a temp.