Sweet.

Today, I heard a story on NPR that sugar will kill you. Literally. Well, that's what I got out of it, anyway. 

However, in the evening, I always like to have a taste of something sweet in my mouth. Just after dinner. It doesn't have to be much. Well, anyway, whilst we are watching television:

Me: (sitting bolt upright) Did I already eat something sweet? [urgently]

The historian: I don't think so. But you squeezed something sweet.

[Parenthetical note: Right after dinner, I lightly seized the almost empty box of inferior chocolates that we somehow hung onto after polishing off the boxes of superior chocolates (hi Mom!), looked inside, and saw three chocolates that were shaped like creams and not like caramels. So in short order, I quickly squeezed them--one two three chocolates--to discover (a) that I had indeed correctly inferred their fillings from their shapes, and (b) I am now apparently the kind of person who squeezes chocolates to ascertain their fillings. WOW.]

[back to my sweet-hounding:] Me: hahahahahahahahaha [Also: WOW. I am a chocolate squeezer. I will henceforth and forever be known as a chocolate squeezer! God help me, my character is shot.]

Moral of the story: inferior chocolate brings out the worst in a person.

Second moral of the story: either we have to get better chocolate or maybe I don't need something sweet in my mouth after dinner. Or maybe we need better chocolate, I'm sticking with that.