To my LMS:

Dear my LMS*,

Okay, so back in mid August, when it had been months since I last used you, and I was, it must be acknowledged, a little rusty, I thought, this is not my LMS's fault that things seemed clunky and unfamiliar. And clunky. And creaky and possibly a little cantankerous. I thought,  it is projection, since I myself felt clunky and creaky and cantankerous, and also, paradoxically, a little unfamiliar. To myself. I was all, now how do I do this, again? And then creaked and clunked and cantankered around until I mostly figured things out--things that I had once successfully done before, I must point out.

But, my LMS, right now you are making me look bad. How many times can I say to my students oh that Canvas! What a card, what a cut-up, what a rascal! I am here to tell you, my LMS, that I have said it more times than I want to, and now, it's making me mad.

I imagine my students secretly rolling their eyes, saying, riiiiigghhhhhtt, it's *Canvas*. With scare quotes. And they are all secretly thinking in back of the eyes rolling, she doesn't know what she's doing.

I don't think I have to say it, but I'm going to anyway: you can see I'm not happy.

My LMS: you're busting my chops here.

Get it together,

htms

*for the non-online-teachers among my readers, "LMS" is "Learning Management System," an Orwellian construction if ever there were one, and "Canvas" is the system's LMS.