Dear summer conference,

Dear summer conference,

It is July. Were you aware of that fact? I know you did not plan yourself, and so technically it's not your fault. But here are some things that July is supposed to be for:

• laziness.
• desultoriness.
• lemonadeness.
• iced tea-ness.
• staying up late with the window open. 
• hanging out in one's very own garden.
• thinking deep thoughts.
• thinking shallow thoughts.
• reading nonsense.
• going to movies.
• making crafts.
• wearing flip flops, or no-flops.
• not getting dressed up to be presentable.
• not sitting for hours at a time while people talk at you. Or fine, while they construct meaningful activities that you, the audience, are supposed to participate in.

Not to be rude, summer conference, but July is supposed to be for the opposite of what you are.

I take full responsibility for thinking it would be fun to attend, summer conference. After all, you beckoned. A summer conference, in Boston, where there are lobster rolls and the sea and outdoor concerts. And lobster rolls, did I say that already? That sounded fun. And I would be here with my colleagues who are also my friends.

But, summer conference, there we were this evening, eating divine desserts and chatting, listening to a very nice jazz trio, and before we knew it we were talking about work. Work. In a city across a continent, at a summer conference, while eating strawberry Pavlova, with pink peppercorn meringues and basil syrup and lovely strawberries. Talking about work.

There's a certain tristesse, a certain ennui, that occurs when one is far away from home in conference-attending clothing, listening to/participating in sessions in windowless rooms. This is true, even when the lobster rolls are sublime and the friends are good. One feels one should be taking late night walks with the dog, and sleeping with one's beloved, and trailing one's fingers through one's own daisies and mint. One feels this, and one longs to be home, at home in the summertime.

Summer conference, please pass along the following memo:
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TO: Whom it may concern, aka Summer Conference Planners

FROM: htms

DATE: July, 2012

RE: July

Please take into account the activities for which July is ideally suited, and reconsider your plans for Summer Conference, which is a perfectly nice conference, but in July? Not optimal. Not remotely optimal. What happens at a summer conference that wouldn't be better in, say, October?
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Summer conference, I trust you see my point.

Sincerely,

htms