Help! I need somebody!

Sunday, I was compulsively watching New York, New York, which, in case anyone's wondering, is no one involved's finest effort, and yet it's kind of hard to stop watching it. For one thing, I forgot that Liza Minelli was so young when she made it, and that girl can sing.

Anyhoo: my son came into the room, took one look at the television, and said, "What are you watching?"

I replied, "It's New York, New York--it's not very good, but I can't seem to stop watching it."

Gently removing the remote from my hand, he said, "Here--let me help you with that," and changed the channel. Whew.

Here are a few other things I sometimes need help with:

• editing the contents of my closet
• re-watching movies
• keeping all the shit I've agreed to do straight
• remembering to attend board meetings
• buying ever more stuff
• relaxing

It's lucky that I have people who love me, people who will take me by the hand.