1. French baker. (preferably in France)
2. Senior policy analyst. (also preferably in France)
3. Supreme Court Justice. (why, oh why didn't Bush nominate me?)
I would like to know what my readership would rather be doing than the jobs they are doing now (preferably in France).
My favorite job still was when I was a delivery driver in Olympia for Air Data Express. (I had dropped out of college and was living with Sleepy E and two other women. Sleepy E can post on that interesting situation.)
ReplyDeleteI drove a big van around Pierce County, delivering weird office supplies to different businesses and big water heaters to egg farms out by Yelm. I also delivered to the old Olympia Brewing Company, how owned by Pabst Blue Ribbon.
I learned the fine art of road rage and how to swear with total conviction.
I still daydream sometimes about being a stand up comic.
As to the French connection, the French loved Jerry Lewis. They could love me as well. They could have a weird, inexplicable fascination with me. Other Americans would simply shake their heads and say, "It's a French thing."
ReplyDeleteAs far as France is concerned, I would like to be a professional tourist, lounging on beaches, eating cheese and drinking wine. Maybe I could be a food/travel writer, like Under the Tuscan Sun, only in France.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid, I used to say I wanted to be "either a brain surgeon or a grocery store checkout lady." I have attained my dream of cashier (at the food co-op though, so it's okay), but it may be too late for the brain surgery thing.
Sometimes I want to be a scientist--not a boring one who sits at his or her desk, but one who has a big lab with lots of pyrex and goes out into the field for scientific reasons.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I also want to be an Italian tour guide, taking groups of Americans around Italy. Why Americans? They tip well.
Sometime I also want to be a Japanese robot designer.
Ok my real desire is to be the stand up comic like Mid-B.
I had a short stint as a waiter in New Orleans and hated it. But I could see myself as an alienated younger man waiting tables at a chichi sidewalk cafe in Paris. I would have too much product in my hair and a sharpened, aloof chin. I would take up smoking, read rain-damaged 25-cent existential paperbacks on break, and have countless liasions w/ the moody waitstaff and an unending queue of garter-and-stocking-wearing middle-aged married women who tipped too much...
ReplyDeleteThe fact that you say "product" to describe stuff you put in your hair tells me everything. (my daughter works in a v. fancy salon.)
ReplyDeleteI used to want to be an astronomer, until I realized that I would have to know calculus. Maybe I should have opted for astrologer.
ReplyDeleteI often want to be a baker or a chef.
I also think I would be an excellent consultant (regarding what, I am not sure).